Monday, April 14, 2008

Pre-parenting Statement Retraction #54

Before I was a parent and knew everything- and I especially knew everything about children because I was a school teacher and had been educated about children. And really how much more could having a child teach you than could be learned in a book! I mean I had a college degree and to quote my sister-in-law, "Stupid people have babies all the time!" Anyway in this enlightened phase of mine I had seen parents at various places with young children on "leashes." I was shocked to see this. "How inhumane." "They are treating their children like an animal." "I would never be caught dead with a child of mine on a leash." These were some of my self- righteous thoughts. And I held fast to this position for a long time. Enter child number four and baseball season. Guess what you would see if you came to the baseball diamond on Monday or Wednesday nights during April, May and into June. This:



Okay- so I have had to eat a little bit of humble pie, but it wouldn't be the first time and I can guarantee it won't be the last. But please don't judge me! I was desperate to be able to sit and watch my 9 year old bat at least once during a game. Otherwise I spend the whole game chasing Suzie in and out of all the dug-outs scattered across the fields. Deciding to purchase this "leash" was definitely a battle between my pride and my desire to keep my sanity and as you can see my sanity won out. I was a little self-concious when I walked through the ball park holding onto the tether of the harness that attached to Suzie's backpack, but after watching other mothers struggle with their little ones I came out looking like a genius! And if someone does judge me I have decided one of three things:

a. They don't have any children.

or

b. They only have 1 or 2 children.

or

c. They aren't on their 3rd red-headed, willful, stubborn, active, independent girl- who by the way keep getting worse with each subsequent girl. Ummm- could someone please pass me the birth control!

But really I have decided this is a great purchase. She can be self-sustaining by carrying her own treats, sippy cup and diaper in her backpack. Finn even suggested attaching it to a pole like they do dogs. Brilliant! - Just teasing- I tried that and Suzie figured out how to shimmy the tether off the pole. She ain't no dumb bunny! It is funny to observe and hear people's reactions to her. They either smile knowingly or look a bit puzzled or disgusted. Either way-as my sister and I like to say- "They don't have to drive it." The only problem so far is when Katie takes the reins. Katie wants Suzie to come wherever she tries to take her, and funny enough Suzie doesn't always want to go. Welcome to my world, Katie!

15 comments:

shauna robbins said...

I must say you are driving it very well!!!! Giggle, giggle, actually laughing out loud!!! (no abbreviating)

Thelissa said...

I saw some of these leashing things with little monkey/bear backpacks on them and I thought they were cute. I agree about the whole leash on your child thing, but I too have toyed with the idea. I think she looks great in her new attire. Its fun for the whole family!

Natalie said...

Yes and if you could please purchase at least two more leashes disguised as backpacks for your other red headed children by May 12, that would be wonderful.
Seriously Missy. Real funny. Especially because Katie is in the background holding onto the tether. wooeee, good stuff.

amberjill said...

It's always a wonderful day when Kari blogs! Even if you leave out your whoring around town on the weekends! BTW I was ready for the leash after the 1st child!

Emmie-Lew said...

Love it! Matt had a leash with a fanny pack on the front- UGGH! Times have changed! I think I got it for a trip when we had a number of lay-overs. It was a LIFE saver!
Any-who. . . I love the idea of a backpack, especially for them to carry their own stuff- Hooray!
Don't you love those humble pie moments? The older we get, the more we eat!
Great post, Kari! It IS a happy day when you blog! :)

Tamra said...

That is so, so funny, my eyes are watering from laughing. I love the "pass the birth control" and knowing it all before you had children. That is so true for me, if I made a list of all the things I was never going to do. . . If it is makes you feel any beter, I keep my 3 yr old and 1 yr old securly buckled into a double stroller for t-ball and baseball, at least your daughter gets to walk around.

Allison said...

Tethering the leash to a pole reminds me of the SNL skit of the hyper hypo. Poor little Suzie--hopefully she won't try to run and get yanked back by the cord.

Seriously though, more power to you! I am sure I'll be investing in one of those in the near future!

Wood Family said...

That IS a fabulous idea if I do say so myself. Since I am the one that suggested it to you:)- at least I think I did. Again- you never disappoint... REAL FUNNY post!

Kate said...

Hey, I only have two and I'm all about getting one. I really need one with addyson. She's a handful!!! I said that SAME thing you did, though, when I was younger and didn't have children that could get lost. I've eaten my share of humble pie as a parent who "would NEVER do that". oh well...live and learn.

Lori said...

About that bishop thing -- I guess I will just have to start running around town in my lingerie with you!

Kerry said...

So where did you get it? I need one!

Kamille said...

Love it!!!! I use to look with disdain on leashes too. What a great idea. Wow the wonder to finally be able to watch a ballgame. Sounds like magic to me.

Jeff said...

That picture is classic! I had the same thoughts, and who knows, I'll probably end up putting one on Grant if he ever starts moving.

Kristin said...

Hi! I don't know you, but stumbled on your blog when discovering friends from high school. Anyway, I just wanted to say "Here here!" Not so much about the leash, but about the self righteous me before I had children (and I only have one). I can't count how many times I've thought about attitudes I thought I'd have only to give it up because, Hello! I had no idea what I was talking about. I enjoyed your post... thanks!

SevenVillageIdiarts said...

Listen Missy, It's been OVER a week since your last post. Chain those kid in the basement on leases and give us some post "sugar". We crave you!

Damian just told me he'll need to "borrow" my laptop for a pre-mission kid that he's hiring for the summer. They don't have enough computers in the office. Let him try and pry it from my hands. HA!