Sunday, February 6, 2011

My Recurring Nightmare, Come True.

I believe dreams can be quite powerful. I have had dreams that have conveyed important messages. I have had dreams that have warned me. I have had dreams that have given me comfort. Of course I have also had dreams that have been complete nonsense. But I do have a few recurring dreams and one in particular I consider a nightmare of sorts.

This recurring nightmare goes something like this- I am back in college, it's toward the end of the semester and I still can't remember what my schedule is. I don't remember where my next class is or even what my next class is. Then I realize that I haven't done most of the work for the class and I will probably fail. And if you were me in college, that is a definite nightmare.

I'm not exactly sure what the deeper meaning of this recurring dream is- probably something about not feeling prepared. But I do think it is interesting that I always go back to a previous stage of life. My mom also a recurring nightmare that has varying settings, but she is always having to do something difficult with a bunch of little kids in toe. Which would be a step back in her life too.

Well about a month ago, my step back in time nightmare became my current reality. I am back in college for real. I am taking an Integrated Early Childhood Curriculum course at the U. There are various reasons why I am working on earning my Early Childhood License and renewing my teaching certificate at the same time, but for the main reason I can thank Mr. Obama and how his "generous" healthcare bill affects small business owners like Eric. So I have started on the path toward becoming a part-time kindergarten teacher so we can have reasonable insurance. Which is a reality for a lot of teachers who work for insurance and I'm just grateful I have a degree in a profession where I can get insurance as a part-time employee.

But it has been interesting being back in college as a 30 something way closer to her 40's than her 20's. On the first day I was worried I wouldn't be able to find my class. Where would I park? Where do I buy my books? Should I take just a notebook? If I do, would I look ancient because I don't have a laptop to take notes? But what if take a laptop and I look like a major geek? (In the end I decided it would be better to be "underdressed" rather than "overdressed" and just took a notebook. ) But the point is I found all the "insecurities" I felt in my recurring dream coming out for real before I started the class.

But now that I have been in class for a month now, I have found that being in college at 36 is way different from being in college at 18. It isn't nearly as stressful to me. Granted, I'm only taking one class, but I think I have commented more times in my current class than I did my whole first year of college. I've realized that having 4 children and being a stay-at-home mom for almost 12 years really has been useful when it comes to understanding child development. Obviously my confidence in the class is bolstered from already having my degree in elementary education and having taught for 5 years, but I am honestly enjoying it more than I thought it would.

And good news, since I started my class, I haven't had one nightmare about being in college and not being prepared. But I am a little worried about what recurring dream I could start having now. I'm afraid it may have something to do with being labor!


P4 said...

I have a recurring dream about losing all my teeth and one about never being able to control my students. Both stress me out. I love that you are back in school. I would think all those same things if I went back to school. Good luck! I'm excited to see you at book club.

kjirsten said...

WOW Kari! That's awesome! I had no idea you were returning to school. I could definately see that as kind of "fun" at this point in life. Glad your nightmares have ceased! (ha ha!) And good luck with everything!

Thelissa said...

I have a similar dream on occasion. The dream itself keeps me from wanting to EVER go back to school.:) It reminds me of the stress I felt in college. Are you always trying to find the class on the last day of the semester and there is a test that day? In mine, that's how it is.

I am so impressed that you have gone back to school. You are an amazing woman. Truly.

Do you remind your mom that her recurring nightmare is your current life?:) I count heads ever time I get int the car to be sure they are all with me still!:)

Sarah said...

How exciting, Kari! I'm totally jealous. I would love to go back to school and take classes here and there. Hope it continues to go well.

And, you should totally post that quote on your blog. It's perfect.

The Powells said...

How exciting, I am really glad you are enjoying it. You will be a great Kindergarten teacher!!

Julie said...

If you have a recurring nightmare about being in labor...I hope it comes true.

Liz said...

Wow! Super impressed with the college thing. Super fun, but not as fun without us, right?

Laura said...


Hey! I know a principal who I'm pretty sure would love to hire you!

Lori said...

You are super mom! You really can do it all! Good luck and I hope all the dreams you want to come true will!