I have observed a certain phenomenon in motherhood. I am not sure what its title might be, but some possibilities include: "ying/yang," "opposition in all things," "even stephen," or "one up/one down." Whatever you call it- it is this: As a mother everything/everyone around you is not allowed to be at peace with you at the same time. Case in point- Let's say you are cleaning a part of your house- the bathrooms for instance. You spend hours making them look spotless and you are quite proud of them. Then you walk out into the Family Room and it is a disaster because you banished your kids out of the bathrooms so you could clean them in peace. See according to this phenomenon the family room is not allowed to stay clean when you are cleaning the bathrooms. The universe just won't allow it. I imagine they are several more for instances in a mother's life that would demonstrate this phenomenon, but the one I am choosing to focus on for this post relates to how my daughters see me. It has already been established that my second daughter thinks I am mean as Matilda's mom. So just when I work to become like Ms. Honey to her, my oldest daughter thinks I have become like Ms. Trunchbull. (This is the second reference to "Matilda" in just as many posts, so if you haven't seen or read this delightful story, stop reading my blog and go do so!)
But I am getting ahead of myself. This past Monday night was Katie's highly anticipated "Christmas Dance Recital" on the big stage. I felt like I had truly out done myself in getting her ready and being prepared.
Sewing her dress so the heart stays still- check.
Taking her to get her hair done at the salon- check.
Putting her make-up on and bringing it with me to reapply between shows- check.
Bringing her a sandwich and drink to have between shows- check.
Taking crayons and a coloring book to keep her occupied between shows- check.
(Her dance does two shows in one night- long story and not worth the time to explain.)
Inviting grandparents- check.
Bringing a treat for her to share with the class- check.
Buying her flowers and asking her dad to bring them when he came to the show- check.
Little did I know the last one was my Achilles Heel. Here is a picture of her looking quite adorable in her Peacock dress.
Who wouldn't be proud of this little munchkin?!? And I was feeling quite proud of my mothering abilities as well up until Eric and Annie got to the auditorium with the flowers for Katie and THE note! As they were sitting down Annie hands me a note folded up in a homemade envelope. Here is verbatim what was on the envelope and the contents inside:
Envelope
To: Kari (No "mom"-very significant!)
From: Sad Annie (drawing of frowny face and the back is covered with frowny faces.)
Note:
Front-Very Sad (Big frowny face)
Inside: Dear Mom, I am very sad that you got Katie flowers and not me. You never got me flowers when I was in dance. I will never talk to you again Mom. P.S. Don't be mean. (Another big frowny face) Very, very, very, very, very sad.
Back: (Huge frowny face) Very, very, very,very,very,very, very, very, very sad!
Now some punctuation and spelling was changed in the transposing of this note, but no frowny faces or verys were added. It is all authentic. So my basic feeling after reading this note was, "All those who think they are a good mother, please step forward. Not so fast, Kari." And in Annie's defense when she was in dance she asked for flowers at every recital and I always forgot. I wasn't really playing favorites. I think I just remembered to get them this time because Annie had asked me so many times before to get them for her and it finally stuck. Unfortunately it stuck after Annie stopped wanting to do dance. So now there is an $8.99 Albertsons flower bouquet to be bought for Annie next time she passes a level in gymnastics because she has informed me that her flowers have to cost the same as Katie's. But by then I am sure I will want to lock Katie up in the "chokey"- I'm telling ya- "Matilda" is a great show.
11 comments:
Oh you poor, poor dear. Go for the chokey and forget trying to be Miss Honey. Make yourself a badge that says, "Ms. Trunchbull," wear it with pride and just accept it!!
Oh, Kari, again.... "Welcome to Motherhood"!!!!!
We actually had a similar experience no more than 11 hours ago. Sav had her recital. We gave her a flower one other time and she didn't even care about it. Thus, I didn't buy any for last nights gig. She came off the stage and running over to me. She smiled huge and said, where are my flowers? I hadn't purchased any since she hadn't cared before. Her face proceeded to drop and her eyes filled with tears. Thankfully Grandpa whipped out some cash and we stopped at the store on the way home. All was right with the world once again. I haven't seen Matilda, but it sounds like I should if I'm going to keep up on this blog!?
You definately have my vote...that is if you I don't get the nomination first. (HA HA HA) I am glad to catch up with your family in the blog world.
Oh Kari, your posts always strike that chord of truth! We are always under a microscope, aren't we?
Maybe the key is to accept the fact that we're not going to be "mother of the year" to all the kids at the same time.
Well I think you suck...I will win the best mother of the year award, cuz I don't buy anyone flowers...only beef jerkey.
And your hair smells like dirty socks. :) I love you!
Kari, you crack me up! As soon as my kids can write better, I'm SO going to get notes like this. I'm glad I won't be surprised.
So, I got your darling Christmas card in the mail the other day and loved it! Then, it made me remember with a little giggle about last year's picture adventures at the park and it made me realize how long it's been since we've talked! TOO LONG! I miss you Kari. Can we make a plan to get together soon? Give me a call with your Christmas itinerary and let's see each other!! You are a fantastic mother, btw and all that drama is because you have a house full of girls and girls can't ever be happy! Take it from one of 4 Olpin girls! We never thought the lovin' was even @ my house!! The good news is....we get over it in time to get mad about something else.... :)
Flowers or no flowers for Annie, it sounds like you did an amazing job getting things ready to go for Katies performance. I'd say your mother of the year award is on it's way!
So funny. Seriously have your kids live at my house for a week. You've inspired me to do a post on my Maya.
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